It has been a month since our little girl, Baby J was brought home! We have come a long way in a short period of time. She is recovering and healing. We are earning her trust.
We’ve noticed some developmental delays and waiting on our local early intervention program. We have yet to meet birth Mom, visits have been scheduled once weekly for two hours supervised at the agency. She has 3 other siblings staying with her grandparents and they may visit as well. The nerves always take over around visit times.
Our love multiplies each day. We are in the process of purchasing our home so a few extra days picked up from work has been needed. I asked my Mom if she could watch Baby J for a little while. She told me “I can’t wait to see her. I hate to get attached but I think I am already.” That statement makes me sad because I know that attachment is what these kids need the most, but I get it. I respond “Don’t hate to get attached, they need the love more than our feelings.”
You can say that over and over again and it doesn’t make it easier. I’ve brought my parents along on this journey. They have fallen hard for my previous placements, that have gone home. Foster Grandparents grieve too. I don’t usually go out of my way to introduce my kids to extended family for this reason.
So I can come back with a strong response but truth is, I do get worried too. So very worried I am going to fall in love, too deep, too fast, all over again. But its not going to stop me. Here we go again, diving in and we have no idea how deep.